Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Chapter 6

Hello Friends! Today’s topic is… Fidelity in Marriage

Perhaps the first real post was a bit long, this time around it will be a little more friendly to the casual reader.

Thank you for taking your time to come and see the thoughts I have placed here.

Let’s get started!

Here is the quote I will be basing this post off of.

“Often we think that infidelity primarily happens when spouses do not love each other enough,  when the marriage is bad, when sexual intimacy is suffering, or when a more attractive alternative comes along. But infidelity is not primarily about love, sex, or attraction; it is about boundaries – where we draw the line.”

My main question for you today is how have you seen simple things lead to infidelity?

Or if you have not seen it, why do you think simple little things often lead to larger offenses?

I have to be honest, this is not a topic most people are overjoyed to think about. However I think that people not thinking about fidelity in marriage leaves them less prepared for preventing adultery in their marriage. In life if we choose to not think about something it does not mean it will not happen. So to be ready to combat infidelity we need to know what we are or will be fighting and have a plan of attack or defense.

What are good ways you can think of that will fortify a marriage from possible attacks or threats?

Another threat to marriages today and will become a greater threat in the future is the casual outlook people are taking towards marriage.

How can we protect marriage and how can we help others see the value of marriage?

How can we help others help us protect our marriages?

Pictured below my brother-in-law, sister, myself, and my
We need to protect what we value, I value marriage in general and I value my marriage specifically as well. I know that no one is perfect, that we can not nor should endeavor to control our spouse, instead we need to trust them and trust that they will do the right things when we are not looking. 

I think some of the best ways we can help prevent infidelity from gaining even a crack of a door into our lives can be:

To never be in a car alone with an adult of the opposite gender (that is not blood related).

Never meet with another person alone for lunch or dinner that is of the opposite gender. 

Do not accept flirtations nor offer them to anyone but your spouse.

Always wear your wedding ring.

Pray when you feel tempted.

Talk freely with your spouse about anything you think could develop into something unhealthy and make a plan together of avoidance. 

Do not do anything your gut is screaming "No you really should not do that."

Lastly be smart, is it seems like a dumb idea, then don't do it? Is a moment of fun worth the damage done? 

Thank you everyone.


  1. I think above all other practices or policies (except perhaps listening to your gut) is open communication. Open communication indicates trust in both parties. When trust is damaged, communication will suffer. When communication suffers, needs and thoughts and emotions that must and/or should be expressed go unspoken and begin to build pressure. That internal pressure, in my opinion, is what will open the seams of an otherwise solid marriage. If you're open with your partner, if you're actively feeding your mutual love and admiration, if the two of you have trust and keep no secrets about your thoughts or feelings... it won't matter if you're in a car or having a meal with someone else because you're not going to be doing anything with that person that's inappropriate. You'll only be there because there's some reason (friendship, emergency, work, etc) not because you're secretly hoping for something more.

    At least that's my opinion and what I've seen be critical to saving some marriages I've witnessed on the brink of divorce.

  2. Thank you Jena for your reply!
    I agree with you that open communication is so key and important! Also if trust is strong enough you would not need to worry about those situations occurring very infrequently, however sometimes it is best to just have some strict rules to protect little things from turning into big things.
    When a relationship is strong and healthy though, you are right there would not be any reason to worry about something coming of it. Thank you again! Honestly living worthy of the Spirit's companionship and living by those promptings is probably the best insurance for a marriage!