The first night home was so difficult, but thanks to a great lady who gave me some pointers the next day, I learned that not every tiny noise a baby makes means they need to be picked up to be fed or changed. Sleep came to visit a little longer the next night. So many wonderful moments have come and gone since that first week. In a few days she will be four months old and is bursting with smiles and sweet little babbles.
3 months and 3 weeks
I yearned to be a wife and mother and now I am. I am so thankful for this new stage of life. However I have been contemplating on some of the ways I have allowed myself to look at how to go about living. I willingly admit that I spent most of my growing hours day dreaming about what this stage of life would be like. The lesson I am learning now, is that today is a gift, it is called the present right? (Okay I didn't make that up, but I don't know who said it first). It is a struggle for me to live in the moment, for some that is their curse/blessing but for me I have to work to really enjoy the moments as they are. Having a baby who is growing just as quickly as everyone said she would has helped me to embrace that now is the only moment that I will ever have her at this exact stage and age.
My dreams are still alive and vivid, but now I am living in them and letting the designs of further hopes show themselves. Yes I still have a picture of the home and lifestyle that I believe would add to my happiness, but that is just it, it will not ever make me happy. I have to bring my happiness from this moment into the days ahead and not hope that it will magically appear when the square footage of our abode increases. Happiness is a choice, and that is something I am earnestly trying to embody.
This summer has thrown a more than fair share of difficulties our way, but the other day I came across the quote "Life is ten percent of what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it." - Lou Holtz I have tried to be positive throughout my life and the point of the matter is; life is hard but that does not mean you are required to sign over your happiness just because hardship and inconveniences my be stacking up in your life at alarming rates. Yes mourn, grieve, and do what you need to, to deal with loss and pain, but do all you can to see the glass half full and in one piece. (I am not trying to say those with clinical depression should just snap out of it. That is a different topic, for a different time.)
So this is my birth story, because both a baby and a mother are born on the same day. Life is full of lessons and I am thankful to be learning new pieces of information and perspective each day.
Thank you for reading. Thoughts, comments, or insights are welcome.