Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Chapter 3b

 Hello again my friends, 

Today we will be talking about what can lead to a wonderful and amazing marriage.

The quote comes from chapter 3 of the book we have been discussing here thus far.

Though it is a simple quote it is very powerful and something I have felt as important and true for  a long time.
“The one commandment was to love as Jesus loves, thus setting the standard for the pure love of Christ that should be sought in marriage.” (pg. 30)

    So for some people this thought is entirely will strike them as new or odd, and for others it may be what they are already doing or planning to be doing.

My first question for you is: 

     What was your first thought as you read that Christ-like love is something that should be sought within a marriage?

    I think it makes perfect sense. Marriage can prove to be grounds for refinement, none of us enter a marriage already being entirely patient, forgiving, humble, entirely honest, as well as many other attributes that Christ held. We may be really good at patience, but when you get married you soon find out you still have a long way to go.

    I personally believe for a happy marriage to thrive it should carefully be modeled after (click here for the text of the verses) 1st Corinthians 13 and should be filled with long suffering, kindness, and love unfeigned.

    We live in a ‘me’ culture where we are taught by the media and the actions of many people around us that life is about pleasing ourselves, and that if we can do some good for others it should be at no real pain to us.     That idea is wrong and so against what would make a healthy marriage thrive. Who really wants to be married to someone who all of the times only does what they feel like and only rarely gives token gestures of kindness?

    Okay no, you are probably thinking “this is great in theory Julee, but how do you really live that Christ-like every day?” my answer to that is, life is a journey and we are not expected and nor should we expect to have it all down today, we need to take our time and do our best to progress and move upward with each new sunrise.

    Another reason this should seem like the best way to run your marriage is to think of the many causes for divorce. Can you think of one reason someone has been divorced over, that wasn't rooted in selfish and un-Christ-like behavior?

    Another strong reason is based off of verse 22 from section 42 in the Doctrine and Covenants which says “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart”. (click here to see original) It is pretty clear that the Lord wants us to love our spouse entirely and the best formula in my opinion is to model your life after 1st Corinthians 13. Yes love all those around you, but always put your spouse a bit above others with your affections and priorities.

    My husband and I are not perfect and being newly married each day we are finding crossroads where we can choose to be selfish or selfless. Each little choice adds up, I hope that we can find a way to truly love our spouse and do all it takes to grow in charity and devoted love towards them.

    Thank you again for reading and please comment and leave me your thoughts, disagreements, ideas, or questions.

Here is another picture from our recent honeymoon. 


  1. My first thought was that Christlike love is difficult. To love someone as Christ does, you need to know them inside and out as well as you know yourself, or better. You need to forgive them their faults without a thought, even if their flaws sometimes hurt you. And you need to recognize that they, like you, are trying their very best. Forgive as you would want to be forgiven. It's an ideal that is hard to attain.

  2. I love the scripture that says "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." (Ephesians 5:25) It talks about wives being subject to their husbands, but when a husband follows the admonition of that scripture it makes it easy for a wife to follow his example. Your comment about divorce being rooted in selfishness and un-Christlike behavior is so spot on! I got divorced to protect my daughter, but the underlying cause was selfishness on my husbands part. If only he had understood the concept you so eloquently stated.

  3. Thank you Jonathan. It is true, it is not easy, or at least most of the time it can be harder. It is easier to be selfish than it is to be selfless. I like how you talked about to love as Christ you need to really know someone. I think that is profound, if you think about it, when someone you love and know well tells you that they love you, you have little reason to doubt typically, however when someone you barely know says the same thing it simply does not mean as much. The better we know someone the better we can serve and love them. Praying to know someone better is something that I am sure would help the process along. Thank you for your comments.

  4. Kiersten,
    Thank you so much for your response. It is sad, but true, every divorce I have been privy to its causes has had much selfishness involved in the way one or both had been acting. It is hard to overcome but it is so crucial for making a marriage succeed. I think you did the right thing. You are a brave and wonderfully strong woman!