Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Chapter 20

Hello Friends,

Today we will be discussing forgiveness in the family.  My ideas come from Chapter 20 of the book all of these posts have been based off of.   (scroll down for actual title and authors)

Forgiveness comes easy for some and hard for others. However holding in to past mistakes and errors of others in the long wrong will prove only harmful to you and possibly to them as well.
The book talks about steps that need to be taken in the process of forgiveness.
They reference Worthington’s- Click here to see the list 5 steps for effective forgiveness.
The step I want to focus on is the 5th which is to Hold on to Forgiveness
I think it is so important to commit to the forgiveness that you have chosen to give. It can be a hard choice to forgive someone especially when they are close to you. However the best way to mend that relationship is to commit to leaving the past in the past. I am not saying the pain has to always be gone for it to be real forgiveness, no it simply means you do not hold it against them any longer nor flaunt it in their face.

Why do you think we need to forgive other people?

Why should we commit to forgiving people?

I know that in my life when I have chosen to forgive I feel freed and better able to love. For me it is as though a wall has been taken down and clearer more meaningful communication can resume.

 It may be hard but I urge you to choose someone you have been holding back forgiveness from and take the little and big steps needed to free you and them from further pain and sorrow.

Forgiveness is a blessing to all because it allows for our souls to be set free from the pain plaguing us. It is a choice, and it will cause renewed peace when we commit to let pain go and love into our lives. 


  1. I sometimes (often?) find it difficult to commit to forgiveness because of things that have happened in my past. It's not that I don't want to forgive, that I wouldn't rather move on, but I've sometimes found myself in relationships with people who seem to be in constant need of forgiveness--more than the average still-healthy relationship. If I find myself unable to extricate myself, I find that I hold on to the memory in an effort to keep watch for patterns. I feel like if I don't, I'm setting myself up to be taken advantage of. It makes forgiveness difficult. You'd think I would learn to avoid these kinds of relationships more studiously so I don't have to carry all that around!

  2. I find it easy to forgive others but I really struggle with forgiving myself.

  3. Jena,
    I can understand where you are coming from, it is harder to forgive when offenses are continually happening. Though it can be tiring to have relationships that try you that way, it is a wonderful opportunity to allow that continued forgiveness to refine you. Yes it is important to not allow yourself to be taken advantage of, but at the same time we are commanded to forgive 70 times 7. So I guess as in most other things balance is the key.

  4. Kiersten,

    I absolutely know what that feels like, I 9/10 can forgive quickly and easily, but then when I do something stupid I rake myself over the coals over and over again. I have gotten better at not being so hard on myself but I still think thoughts about how I could have been wiser.

    I also think that sometimes we can not fix issues like that on our own so turning to the Savior and the Atonement can help us to increase our love for our self.

    Thanks for your response!