Chapter 6

Hello Friends! Today’s topic is… Fidelity in Marriage

Perhaps the first real post was a bit long, this time around it will be a little more friendly to the casual reader.

Thank you for taking your time to come and see the thoughts I have placed here.

Let’s get started!

Here is the quote I will be basing this post off of.

“Often we think that infidelity primarily happens when spouses do not love each other enough,  when the marriage is bad, when sexual intimacy is suffering, or when a more attractive alternative comes along. But infidelity is not primarily about love, sex, or attraction; it is about boundaries – where we draw the line.”

My main question for you today is how have you seen simple things lead to infidelity?

Or if you have not seen it, why do you think simple little things often lead to larger offenses?

I have to be honest, this is not a topic most people are overjoyed to think about. However I think that people not thinking about fidelity in marriage leaves them less prepared for preventing adultery in their marriage. In life if we choose to not think about something it does not mean it will not happen. So to be ready to combat infidelity we need to know what we are or will be fighting and have a plan of attack or defense.

What are good ways you can think of that will fortify a marriage from possible attacks or threats?

Another threat to marriages today and will become a greater threat in the future is the casual outlook people are taking towards marriage.

How can we protect marriage and how can we help others see the value of marriage?

How can we help others help us protect our marriages?

Pictured below my brother-in-law, sister, myself, and my
 husband.

We need to protect what we value, I value marriage in general and I value my marriage specifically as well. I know that no one is perfect, that we can not nor should endeavor to control our spouse, instead we need to trust them and trust that they will do the right things when we are not looking. 

I think some of the best ways we can help prevent infidelity from gaining even a crack of a door into our lives can be:

To never be in a car alone with an adult of the opposite gender (that is not blood related).

Never meet with another person alone for lunch or dinner that is of the opposite gender. 

Do not accept flirtations nor offer them to anyone but your spouse.

Always wear your wedding ring.

Pray when you feel tempted.

Talk freely with your spouse about anything you think could develop into something unhealthy and make a plan together of avoidance. 

Do not do anything your gut is screaming "No you really should not do that."

Lastly be smart, is it seems like a dumb idea, then don't do it? Is a moment of fun worth the damage done? 

Thank you everyone.

Chapter 10

Hello Friends,

         This post will be centered on a quote from the book Successful Marriages and Families Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives (BYU Studies Copyright 2012) This quote comes from Chapter 10 Parenting with Love, Limits, and Latitude…

        "The authoritative parenting style. The optimal parenting style is the authoritative parenting style. Authoritative parenting fosters a positive emotional connection with children, provides for regulation that places fair and consistent limits on child behavior and allows for reasonable child autonomy in decision making. This style creates a positive emotional climate that helps children be more open to parental input and direction, and allows for parents to individualize child rearing as encouraged by Brigham Young when he enjoined parents to "study their [children’s dispositions and their temperaments, and deal with them accordingly”  (Widstoe, 1978, p. 207). Some children, for example, may require more limits, while others respond better to more latitude, depending on their dispositions.”

        First of all this is coming from the perspective of a woman who had not had a child yet. I have baby sat for years, worked in pre-schools, day-cares, elementary schools and summer programs. I have held responsibilities for children ranging from 3 months to 18 years. However the majority of my experience has been with toddlers to middle childhood aged children. So no I do not have first hand experience being a mother, but I have had much interaction with children and parents.

      Let’s get started with that fact that we all are aware of, that a baby doesn't come with a manual. So where does that leave us to know how to parent? Well, all of us have grown up in some sort of family setting whether it was our biological family, adopted, foster, or other arrangement there were people who were there to be our guardian(s). Most of what each of us knows about parenting comes from what we learned as we grew up in our family.

      This quote has a clear statement of opinion as to what style of parenting is best for rearing children. Another huge aspect that plays into parenting style are the cultures the parents were raised in and the culture they are currently raising their children in.

What style of parenting were you raised in?

What kind of parenting have you seen done well?

What kind of parenting have you seen done in a way that could have been executed a little (or a lot) better?

       My opinion comes from my studies and observation from years of babysitting and observing the way my friends families as they operated. I have come to find that there needs to be a fine balance of clear rules and allowance for children to make their own decisions based off of what they have been taught. Children need to learn how to be self-sufficient while not being left to do it all on their own either. Each child has their own set of needs and temperament.

      The chapter this quote comes from discusses the needs children have, they need rules, love, and the ability to have some freedoms. Children who are always told what to do tend to grow up and are unable to function in college or the work world because they are so accustomed to being micromanaged. To be able to function successfully people need to know how to take instructions and do it on their own without needing to ask if every last thing they are doing is right. Conversely children indulged and given little to no instruction cannot function in most jobs because they are not used to being told no or having so many rules and boundaries. Another piece of this conversation needs to be that there are no parents that are perfect. Some parents may have not graduated High School while some may have their Doctorate. Some may have the best of motives while others unfortunately see themselves as stuck being a parent. There is such a huge variety of parental ability and circumstances. Talking about parenting is a very broad subject, however most of us will become parents or already are. Weather you just found out that you are expecting or your youngest is a senior in High School, there is always new information to glean and thoughts that you can share with upcoming parents.

      My hope is that if you have questions you will leave them here and if you have thoughts or answers to questions I or other pose that you will feel inclined to respond.

     The quote from Brigham Young reflects the fact that each child will need specialized and specific parenting tactics to best fit their needs. Children are individuals and as we have more than one child we need to ever remember to parent and treat them as an individual not a part of a herd. 

What are your thoughts about parenting style?

Why does it matter if you have one style or another?  

What advice do you have if you are a parent?

Thank you for your time and thoughts!

A Few Thoughts And Clarifications

To clarify the first 12 or so posts of this blog will be insights and discussion promoting materials and thoughts I have based on the The Family : A Proclamation To The World (Click to view the proclamation ) as well as the book I am reading for a BYU-Idaho course I am taking developed around this proclamation.

The book is entitled Successful Marriages and Families Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives

I hope that as you read you will learn or remember important principles and ideas regarding being the best mother, father, husband, wife, daughter, son, uncle, aunt, cousin or friend. This blog is about bettering the world around you and the world deep inside yourself. 

Please leave any thoughts, questions, insights, or ideas you may have for the blog or in response to each post.

Thank you, enjoy, be happy, and do not forget to smile. 

One last thought from me:

Your yesterdays do not define your tomorrows, learn from the past and build a future bright as the sun shining on a lovely summer's day. A good or great attitude and hard work can change the world around you one day at a time. 

Here is a picture of my husband and myself from our wedding. We were married in the Salt Lake Temple in August of 2012

Welcome to Julee Steenblik's Bit of Internet

       Hello and welcome to my corner of life. Here I will share my perspectives on home, family, fun, dreams/ goals, and life. The first while will focus on aspects of The Family: A Proclamation to the World from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I will share thoughts, questions, ideas, and quotes to help you as you endeavor to improve your life and family situation.